The Pit Stop – An Embarrassing Short Story
The Pit Stop – An Embarrassing Short Story: Have you ever been embarrassed?
Have you ever been embarrassed? I’m not talking about some small moment that’s forgotten in days. I’m talking about the kind of embarrassment that makes you want to hide your head and disappear. When you think about it years later you still blush.
“The Pit Stop” is a story about that type of embarrassment. I’ve had embarrassing moments like that, but I’m not telling anyone about them.
So, without further ado I present to you the humorous short story:
The Pit Stop – An Embarrassing Short Story
My father is a modest man and particular about restrooms he uses while traveling. He has stomach trouble and always chooses a single person outside restroom when he needs to relieve himself; he doesn’t want to embarrass himself by odor when he leaves a restroom.
After a pleasant vacation in California, my parents, my little brother, Toby, and I left California to return home to Kansas. At the California-Arizona state line Dad said, “Look for an outside restroom.”
We located several restrooms, but they didn’t meet Dad’s discriminating standards. He drove more than fifty miles before we found an acceptable outside restroom.
“There’s one,” I said.
“Sure enough,” Dad replied.
Dad was hurting by the time we stopped. He whipped the car beside the gas pumps like an Indy 500 race driver. He handed me money, told me to fill the car, then sprinted to the restroom to take care of business.
While I filled the car Dad rushed back outside, grabbed a flashlight, (because the restroom light was burned out), and took some disinfectant cloths from the first aid kit, (because there was no toilet paper). He then sprinted to the restroom.
Toby, my little brother, saw Dad take something out of the medicine kit and thought Dad hurt himself. Toby was concerned; he followed Dad to the restroom and knocked on the door.
“Dad, are you all right?” he asked.
My father didn’t answer.
Toby yelled, “Dad are you all right?”
Dad continued to ignore Toby.
I filled the car and went inside the station to pay. What Dad could not have known was that the exhaust fan in the restroom was vented to the inside of the gas station. (Which was a major engineering mistake I would say.)
Everyone inside the station heard Toby banging on the restroom door and yelling, “Dad are you all right?”
Each subsequent yell was louder than the previous one. Dad refused to answer.
The bathroom ducting formed some kind of sound enhancing echo chamber. I couldn’t believe what I just heard.
“What was that? Thunder?” a man asked.
“We get a lot of thunder like that where I come from,” I joked.
At that moment a stench permeated the gas station. Oxygen was sucked from the air and was replaced by a substance no man was meant to breathe. Everyone, even the cashier, ran outside the station to escape the “green fog.”
Some were wondering who was responsible for the foul odor that drove us from the station. Some were wondering how anyone could smell that way and survive. Some were retching and gagging.
Just then Dad walked around the corner of the building with a piece of toilet paper stuck to his shoe.
Toby followed close at his heels and continued asking Dad if he was all right. Dad’s face was crimson.
When my father reached the car Mom said, “Dean, there’s something on your shoe.”
Dad looked down in disgust, pulled the paper off his shoe, and said, “Where the heck was that paper when I needed it?”
Everyone standing outside the station burst into laughter.
When I sat in the car Dad pointed to Toby and said, “Tie him up and gag him.”
Mom and I cracked up.
We rode ten miles in silence except for the occasional outburst of laughter from Mom and me.
“Shut up, you’re just making it worse,” said Toby.
Eventually Dad saw the humor in the situation and everyone got a good laugh.
I learned two valuable lessons that day. First, Ignoring a problem does not make it go away. Second, when venting a restroom, ALWAYS vent the exhaust fan to the outside.
Copyright 2010 J-me
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