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Big is Beautiful – Great Comebacks

Big is Beautiful – Great Comebacks

Big is Beautiful – Great Comebacks: For Rude People

Are you a big person who has been humiliated in public by rude people? Did you wish you had some snappy comeback to fire at your tormentor. If you’ve been in that situation these great comebacks may be for you.

Big is Beautiful – Great Comebacks: A Short Story

I’ve always been chunky. (Some people might say fat, but it’s my story, and I Big is Beautiful - Great Comebacks:  Do you know how many calories I have to eat just to keep this beautiful body?can tell it any way I want.) Anyway, when I was twelve years old I was swimming with some of my friends at a local lake.

Some sixteen year old boys swam past us, and one of the boys shouted, “Hey Fatso, you should be able to swim like a whale.”

I have to admit that suffering from a lack of words was never a problem for me. On the contrary, I usually spoke when good sense demanded silence.

I shouted to my tormentor, “I may be fat, but you’re ugly, you pimple-faced moron. You’ll need sandpaper to cure those zits.”

My friends laughed. Even some of the sixteen year old boys laughed.

My tormentor was not so amused. He didn’t like humiliation any more than I did. He caught me and beat the crud out of me.  I don’t believe he thought big is beautiful.

Big is Beautiful – Great Comebacks: Don’t Feel Sorry for Me

That incident was a turning point for me. After I recovered from my knuckle-bumps and bruises I made some major realizations. (I call them my knuckle-bump epiphanies.)

  • Humiliating others never diffuses a hostile situation. It only escalates the animosity.
  • Rude jerks are people too. Regardless of their actions to the contrary they have feelings too. I’ve found that many suffer major stress in their lives.
  • I like making people laugh.

I decided I was on a mission to show people that big is beautiful.

Big is Beautiful – Great Comebacks: The Problem

How can a big person diffuse potentially hostile situations by making people laugh?

Big is Beautiful – Great Comebacks: The Solution – Self-Deprecating Humor (the ability to laugh at yourself)

If a big person can make people laugh by targeting himself as the object of humor he can turn a hostile situation into a friendly solution. Friendly solutions win friends and good acquaintances. Friends and good acquaintances are essential for improving quality of life…the big person’s life.

This one tool, self-deprecating humor, has turned hundreds of potentially harmful situations around.

When someone makes a rude comment don’t respond with rudeness. Use a snippet of humor to turn people around. I’ll give you three examples of great comebacks:

When someone says, “You’re too fat,” you might respond with:

  • Too fat! Do you know how many calories I have to eat every day just to keep this beautiful figure?”
  • That’s odd. I only weigh fifty pounds on the moon.”
  • I’m not too fat. I’m too short. I’m perfect for a man eight feet ten inches tall.”

Big is Beautiful – Great Comebacks: Bonus Quips

I’ve created lists of events I might attend and have developed appropriate responses. For example, if a big person attends a graduation and someone makes rude comments about your size he might respond:

  • I’m not too large. I believe in excellence. I’m in the upper ten percent of my weight class.”

If a big person stands in line to vote on election day and someone makes a comment you might say:

  • I’m not too large. I’m the guy responsible for HUGE VOTER turnout.”

Big is Beautiful – Great Comebacks: Conclusion

Self-deprecating humor is a gold mine for big people who apply it effectively. Make a list of your comebacks. Practice them. (Comedians practice their routines.) Know them well enough to deliver your punchline naturally.

The ability to laugh at yourself is a great asset. People like socializing with positive humorous people.

Big is Beautiful – Great Comebacks: One Last Word

If a person continues his rudeness he’ll look like a jerk, and people will empathize with you. Don’t return the rudeness under any circumstances. Simply say, “Thank you for sharing,” and ignore them. You’ll show character people will admire.

By the way…if you think of some great comebacks let me know.


Copyright 2010 J-me

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